Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
