New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
