im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
