Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
