If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
