the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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