And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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