I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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