The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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