ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
