I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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