Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
