I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize