it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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