and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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