I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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