YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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