Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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