Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
