I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
