I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
