so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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