I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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