physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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