Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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