i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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