right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
