even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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