did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So apparently I’m into choking now
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