Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
