I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
