last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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