He told me they were just razor bumps!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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