We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize