thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
