All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
