i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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