Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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