Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
