the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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