Buhtt sex?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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