Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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