The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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