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Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
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