Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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