When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
