I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
