we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
