Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Randomize