hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
