Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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