the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
