do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
