just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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