i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
