I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
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When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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