So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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