I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize