3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize