This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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