And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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